janefae on Just how nasty are Britain… Tim on Just how nasty are Britain… Tim on Just how nasty are Britain… Tim on Just how nasty are Britain… janefae on WTF! “Respectable smut…
- August 2015
- July 2015
- June 2015
- May 2015
- March 2015
- February 2015
- January 2015
- December 2014
- November 2014
- October 2014
- September 2014
- August 2014
- July 2014
- June 2014
- March 2014
- February 2014
- January 2014
- December 2013
- November 2013
- October 2013
- August 2013
- July 2013
- June 2013
- May 2013
- April 2013
- March 2013
UK Christians have labelled “dangerous” and “naive”, an announcement by supernatural messiah Jesus Christ that he is planning to manifest at the migrant refugee camp in Calais later this year. Continue reading
Foreign Ministries across Europe were today stunned by news that France will, with immediate effect, hand Calais back to the United Kingdom.
This appears to be a response to the latest random outburst from UKIP MEP and professional bigot, Roger Helmer, who tweeted: “Calais was British until 1558. Maybe it’s time to take it back”. Continue reading
Kent may next week close its borders to neighbouring counties, in a last ditch attempt to protect their county from “swarms” of lorries that have infiltrated the M2 and brought terror to the outskirts of Paddock Wood. Continue reading
Following global outrage over the killing of Cecil the loveable lion, animal conservationists today admitted that all previous campaigns had been a mistake – and in future they would be swapping scientific argument for pictures of kittens in their attempts to save the planet’s wildlife.
At a special press conference convened to announce this about turn, a spokesman for just about every animal conservation organisation ever told the world’s media: “We got it wrong.
“We mistakenly believed that some people actually cared about biodiversity and the fact that over 10,000 species are going extinct each and every year as a direct result of human activity.
“Some of our wackier scientists even attempted to explain to CNN reporters that this rate of loss is least a thousand times higher than the natural extinction rate, and the Earth is on the brink of its sixth mass extinction event, after which the only creatures left alive will be homo sapiens and a species of mutant cockroach.
“We now realise that if animals want protection, they need to adopt cute and quirky Disney names, grow a long fluffy mane, and make friends with their local community.
“After all, who would dare gun down a deer called Bambi or a rabbit named Thumper?
The spokesperson continued: “It is true that this may not work for all animals. Snakes and mosquitoes will find it hard to look cuddly. And there is no excuse for grey squirrels. Ever.
“However, we have this morning taken the first steps towards implementing this new approach by naming all rats Ben: and in a dramatic effort to prevent further deforestation, Greenpeace is negotiating with the local church to have the Amazon rain forest christened Dennis.”
Rumours that animal conservationists were now paying a Minnesota dentist a six-figure sum to stir up public outrage by shooting large photogenic mammals were, however, hotly denied.
Note: Graphic image above is taken from Eurostat and is an image of all common, common farmland and common forest birds in the EU from Jan 2014. The cute lion cub is from the Washington National Zoo and is attributed to ArtBrom under a Creative Commons License. If i have either of those wrong, please let me know!
It can be difficult, at times, to write seriously about Nazis and Nazism. Not only because so much about them, from ludicrous goose-stepping to Chaplin moustache, is utterly ridiculous: but also because i grew up with the humour of those who lived through the War.
Not just Spike Milligan, whose persistent ridiculing of Herr Fuhrer contributed richly to his comedy …but my gran, who survived the Blitz over here, and my father, who literally lost home and country abroad as a direct result of Nazi invasion. All three, in their different ways, took the piss.
Still, on the day that David Cameron presumes to lecture us on “British values”, there is a serious point to be made around Nazi salutes and “British values”. Continue reading