According to a report in today’s Daily Mail, celeb chef Jamie Oliver told the BBC Good Food Magazine: “It is not very popular beating kids any more, it’s not very fashionable and you are not allowed to do it.”
“I give them chillies for punishment”, he explained, before retelling a story of how he had tricked his 12-year-old daughter into eating an apple he had rubbed with scotch bonnet chilli.
Good old chilli con carne
What a classic this dish is. Most of my mates love the chickpeas, but butter beans or even cubed potatoes will work well in their place. Feel free to pep up this dish with more chilli depending on your taste. This will make enough for six portions.
And if your daughter cheeks you or refuses to eat it, there is more than enough left over to slide a little into the middle of her favourite ice cream.
(Ed’s note: don’t think this is entirely appropriate. Can we just lose the last line?)
Chilli con Jamie
Everyone should know how to make a really good chilli, and this one’s a right cracker. I’ve been working on it for a while, and cowboy-land helped me pull it together. The cut of meat is really affordable and delicious, and gives the chilli a gorgeous texture, similar to a beef stew. I wanted to make sure this had real attitude.
Just like Jameie! Mess with this master chef and you’ll be mopping chilli off your nice white shirt, you condescending git.
(Ed’s note: Can we just stick with the recipe, please!)
Turkey con Chilli
For this recipe, you will need 600 g turkey, leftover, shredded. That’s turkey – not chicken, like some editors i could mention!
Try to think of this recipe as a principle, rather than something you have to follow really strictly. I want you to embrace your own leftovers so adjust the recipe accordingly.
Not that there ever any remainders. Because Jamie rules. And if any chickenshit editor wants to say different, then i am going to take this scotch bonnet chilli and shove it so far up your (cont. p. 94)
(Editor’s note: you’re fired)